tragedy

How do you judge tragedies?

You can't say one is worse than another.

You can't say that one is harder to deal with than the one next to it.

You can't judge a tragedy.

Each person deals with things differently and it is impossible to say "mine hurt more".

think about it. and as promised, here are lyrics with photos.

I hear you call me, branches break in the wind.

and through the leaves and concrete

you're going to grow into something that death can't steal.

a garden that gives

sprouts come up glowing fruits of jade and golden silver trees

to mark the legacy of a life that finally learned what this means

the invisible choir sings you a voiceless lesson so you'll always remember

what grew out of decisions that death can't steal

lives that learned to give when it seemed there was nothing oh,

how much more it meant to those around

we go there's a rhythm soft and slow

you'll always hear the choir if you listen close

epic.epic.epic.

Whew ok quick recap of Lander because there is way too much to say when I'm this tired.

Skipped class on friday to get more hang out time with the family. Finally landed myself in Lan-diego around 3. Saw my good friend/soul sister and we went to take pictures of a place that I had almost forgotten about. Lucky Lane garage is probably the first place I have ever climbed at. Complete with mattresses on the floor for crash pads, and each hold individually made out of wood, it is a classic. There is writing on the walls and 30 year old chalk in that place. It is a place that was tucked away in my memory and had some cobwebs waiting for me to dust off. That night I spent an hour trying to catch mini marshmallows in my mouth with three kids who could do it 10x better than I could. I shared a good conversation over a shared pint of ice cream with my aunt who I admire for her strength and loving abilities. After sleeping sort of well while kids kicked me and dogs snored in my ears, I woke up to the smells of pancakes drifting from the kitchen.

The kids and I decided to go on a photo adventure so we blew up some balloons, bought two bags of M&M's and took off. 300 pictures later, we strolled over to another good friend's house. Virginia made us cookies while telling stories and listening to ours as well. She is equally good at both. After quickly devouring cookies, we rushed back to our house to get ready for the climbing competition. The kiddos competed first and did wonderfully. I'm so proud of them- so much talent. The girls competed afterwards- all 4 of us! Then we all cheered on the boys as they dominated the problems that we were falling off of. There was a lot of "Oh, I should have tried that..."

The later part of the evening was epic to say the least, as I got in trouble for what I think is ridiculous. It was the last thing I needed, to have this ordeal now on my plate with school and everything else I'm trying to balance. But, life just comes at you and you have no choice but to deal with it I guess. So, I will be back up to Lander to deal with the leftovers of Saturday night. At least it's more time with the family. I've been told by a couple people that eventually it will be funny. In a week or two I will laugh- for now, just look at the positives.

I apologize this blog post isn't anything insightful or meaningful. My brain won't shut off right now. So when I do get around to thinking well, I will post something good. just you wait.

love

b

15 things

One of my soul sister's wrote 15 random things about herself today on her blog. It looked like fun. So once you've read mine, I want to hear yours. Please? And secondly, I would like you to hear one of my favorite favorite songs right now while you read:

1. I realize I daydream now more than I ever have. If I can, I just let them come. I let my mind wander about what my pictures will look like and what my next adventure will be.

2. I don't know if I will finish school. The more I go to class, the more I think that I don't belong there. Yes, I like learning. But it is a constant battle between my soul and my brain. My soul is tugging at me to leave, to go adventure and be wild. My brain is the one that is telling me I should stay, I should listen and that this will help me build a future. Some days I don't know which one to listen to.

3. Getting a dog was the best life decision I have ever made. It is sometimes frustrating and difficult to travel with her, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. She understands me better than any person has and forgives me more than I should be forgiven. She also eats the gross blue sweetheart candies that I don't want. She likes to think that she's taking one for the team. Plus, she is an awesome cuddle bug.

4. i have symmetrical freckles on my back, legs and arms.

5. One of my biggest frustrations is bad spelling and bad grammar.

6. I am extremely lucky, in that I have a lot of friends in a lot of places. I'm not really sure where I consider home now, because truthfully I feel at home with all those people.

7. I am getting another tattoo...shhh...

8. One of my most favorite things in life is people watching and guessing what their life is like. And one of my favorite memories is doing that with Mei on the couch at an incredibly lame party.

9. When I was younger, I would see things out the window or when I was walking and think "wow, that would make a cool picture." I thought everyone thought like that until a couple years ago. Now I realize that I have that gift because I'm meant to see photos that no one else can. Sculptors can see shapes in clay that no one else can. Artists can turn a paint stroke into something beautiful and musicians can mold notes into songs that we sing along to at the top of our lungs. That is the cool thing about artists, we are so different- yet we have the same thoughts but in different forms.

10. I think wrinkles are some of the most flattering features someone can have. It makes me know that that person has lived.

11. Even though loosing my Uncle was difficult, the amount of opportunities and friendships that have come out of it give me a lot of comfort that it happened for a reason. Because of those people, I have laughed until I've cried, had amazing opportunities and have helped shape my life to where I am now.

12. There are some days that I skip class. Instead, I eat chocolate, cuddle with my puppy, take a drive, play guitar, sleep and climb. I almost feel like I learn more on those days about the world then I would have going to school. Simplicity amazes me to no end.

13. There have been more than a couple occasions that I have almost broke down and bought a banjo.

14. It makes my heart grin to see my cousins grow up. I get to witness parts of their childhood and capture them in photographs to keep for when they grow older. I can understand why parents love their children so much...to watch someone discover things is unbelievable. I couldn't be more proud of the individuals that they have turned into. Watching them laugh is one of the things that makes my soul burst the most, and loving them comes so easily. Their personalties are so unique but so similar, and all of them connect with my heart in such different ways. Like I have said before; it is easy to love life when such a strong force around you loves it too. Sarah does this for me more than anyone I have ever met.

15. I want you to know, more than anything, that I appreciate you.

And to finish, I went to the thrift store today. I picked out a dress that tugged on my shirt and reminded me of drinking out of Mason jars, of singular flowers in a milk carton in the window, of waking up next to someone you love and enjoy, of being barefoot in wet grass, of letting your soul loose and being free, and of stories that capture your imagination and make your mind twirl. Unfortunately, the picture idea I have for this dress is going to take a little waiting for. It needs to get warmer than 25 degrees and snow needs to melt. But I assure you, this one is going to be good.

can't wait to hear your 15- love,

-b

a couple notes on being unique

Everyone wants to be unique, everyone wants to be thought of as being a individual; that there is something that sets them apart from the rest of the world.

Every single person has a different set of beliefs, frustrations, and talents. I would like to believe that my talent is capturing a moment forever. I strive to make my photography unlike the photographer's next to mine. I want it to hold your attention; to turn your head and take a second look. I want it to tug at something in your heart and make you remember something from your own life. I want my moments to relate to yours.

I'm taking a photojournalism class this semester. I guess it is a good thing that as a photographer, I am being forced outside my comfort zone. But I absolutely refuse to give up my creativity to make something look like it is designed for a newspaper. For the first time in my life, I feel as if my artistic-ness is looked down upon because I don't make things look "hard news". I will never, ever be a newspaper photographer. It is not my calling in life. So the class has become significantly harder each time, trying to make my photos artistic, yet, able to write a story behind them. It is frustrating to say the least. Striving to find the balance between uniqueness yet achieving the necessary criteria for the photos has been proving to be harder than I thought.

So to you, my friends, who are striving to be unique...you are. There is something about you that sets you apart from the world, and that is pretty freaking cool. I'm not sure who reads this but the people who I know that do are some of my favorite people in the world because they are beautifully different.

And as a side note with some photos, I took pictures of my roommates iguana, Freddy. He amazes me.