I'm arguing with myself again.

This happens a day or two after I do something really fulfilling.

I feel my life is getting stale.

boring.

uneventful.

I fight the need to go, to move and to be doing something that I feel is important.

I convince myself that finishing school is important.

That getting an education is more than a lot of people get.

But I continue to fight this lifestyle, going on more trips than full weeks at school, counting down the days until I can fly again and live out of something other than a house.

It is the most frustrating feeling in the world for me. It drives me to tears.

Bottom line:I want to do something meaningful.

mountain biking

I've never been mountain biking. Seeing as that I can barely ride a bike in town without hitting something, I feel like maybe I should let other people ride the bikes in the mountains, and I'll come along to document the beautifulness of it all.

So we did.

I packed up my camera backpack with all my lenses and flashes and set off to the mountains with 4 boys and 3 bikes with us. We winded up the highway until we parked the car and proceeded to get ready for the adventure. Myself and Connor walked ahead of the group since we were on foot. Tyler, Aaron and John quickly caught up to us, or moreover, zoomed past us with unbelievable speed.

I've never shot photos of mountain bikers before and I was pretty excited about getting the opportunity to do so today. I thought, 'what a good challenge, to shoot a sport that I know absolutely nothing about.' After causing minor wreckage while trying to get "the perfect capture" (and forgetting that I was standing in the middle of the trail) I learned very quickly that I needed to let the guys ride and I needed to take photos safely to the side or somewhere that wouldn't put me in the direct hit line. After a couple more instances where I became aware that I was still in take-out range, I realized how dangerous of a sport this is. I got lucky that they didn't run me over and chose to take a wreck instead, and I vowed to be more careful next time.

The colors in the grass and the trees was wonderful, and I really enjoyed being outside. We hiked down quite a ways until we were in a huge open field and up to the right was a giant hill. As I watched the boys scramble up it, Connor and I talked about how steep it was and how it would be scary to watch. As Tyler went across, he made a turn to drop and fell. Still taking photos of him rolling down the hill, picking up dust, it occurred to me how scary it is to watch an accident happen through the lens. I've heard a couple stories of things worse than mountain bike falls and it started to make me think that I might witness one. Hopefully not, but I realize that it's a possibility.

After shooting 300 photos and running out of good light, we started back, only having one headlamp. The altitude was taking effect on my lungs and I drug myself up the trail back to the car. My calves won't fit in half the snow boots I try to buy, but they carry me up mountains. I guess I would rather have that then snow boots any day. I miss being outside like this, just playing.

It's been too long since I have been in the mountains, and my heart and soul thanked me endlessly for this today.

just because

Matthew And The Atlas - Matthew And The Atlas -'Within The Rose' FlyTV In The Courtyard

it was too beautiful not to share.

Bubbles

It was that kind of day.

The kind where I slept through my alarm, woke up feeling anxious and frustrated and all around ugh.

So I glided into class pretending that I meant to be 25 minutes late and when I came home, I collapsed.

I needed something that was going to make me laugh.

I needed something fun.

Something good.

And then I saw the bubbles I bought from the dollar store.

perfect.

I blew bubbles for almost an hour. And it was funny, because thats the most productive I have felt all week. Maybe it was the crisp 'pop' noise when they hit objects and exploded. Maybe it was because Veda was scared of them at first, and then tried to eat them. Whatever it was, it made me extremely happy. The simplicity of things like this amazes me.