Friday, May 24, 2013

Life changing moments

I've had a lot of life changing moments.

Getting off of the plane for the first time on the other side of the world; stepping onto the naked, foreign tarmac, the humidity enveloping me.
The first return to Yosemite since the accident. Dogwoods had bloomed and I couldn't, for the life of me, be angry when I was standing in the meadows, gazing at the giant walls.
The first time I had a conversation in a language other than my own.
The uplifting feeling of my career just beginning.
My first solo road trip, 20,000 miles logged on the road with the freedom to go wherever I chose.

And then there was the birth of August.

There are no feelings to describe having been present when someone enters the world. There are no words I can write that could explain the first inhales of those little butterfly lungs. Or the first time Heidi held him. And every word I can think of sounds too harsh to tell you about the first time he laid on my chest, head tucked under my chin and the certainty of knowing I had never held something so delicate and fragile.

We come so innocently into the world. Born to parents and places and environments. We grow and learn and hope. And to see that all begin for someone will be something that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I can't wait to get to know August again and again. I can't wait for him to learn the sagebrush plains and what each peak is called and explore the world and learn his name. I hope he sees things with new eyes, and keeps his heart open and knows that he is so loved and cared for. I hope he never doubts that for a minute.

As I left town, I felt full to the brim with love. The blood orange sun pushed me down the highway and I thanked my lucky stars to feel so alive and happy.

I can't wait for what's to come.