Sunday, November 22, 2009




so a trip through National Geographic to Patagonia might be in sight. Along on the trip would be myself, Mei Ratz (genious photographer, able to capture hearts and moments that many overlook) Spencer Duncan (also brilliant photographer, but in a different way- his ability to see the whole picture and shape it to a pleasing photograph is spectacular) and possibly another friend, an anthropologist, will shape our crew for the trip. we will see as it develops, I will let you know and keep you updated our our findings and our losses.

Recently I have been shooting so many photos that I don't know where to begin. My life feels like I'm being thrown through a tornado, scattered pieces here and there that I need to keep picking up and moving forward, all in different directions. For those of you who understand, no worries friends. As chaotic as it seems, it is good. Your life is moving forward and that is much better than having it be stagnant.

This past weekend has been wonderful and easy to coast through. Nice relaxing days even though my computer crashed on Tuesday. And even better news, i am now shooting 2 weddings this summer! What a wonderful start to my photography career! :) And patagonia might be squeezed between the two. What a kick ass summer that would be!

And now for some photos that I took a bit ago. How do they make you feel?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Oh boy.

Rollercoaster time.

Lately its been an up and down of various emotions, as I feel my other posts have most definitely exemplified. However, through all of this, i can only ask one question: What happened to being happy for someone if their happy?

think about it.

Tomorrow I am going to shoot pictures of two friends of mine from climbing! It should be spectacular and a fun adventure to get my mind of the current thought of ugh. (i hate ugh days)

I'm sorry the post is short and lame, but its been a rough couple days.

Monday, November 9, 2009

& sadness

Why does everything seem to gang up on you at once? I'm exhausted with a mix of emotions.

Feeling emotionally attached to someone is incredible and then all of a sudden its terrifying to feel that way, just knowing the feeling of fragility. It is both a wonderful and scary feeling, and I don't know which one I am experiencing more of. All I know is that it is probably easier to run away than to deal with something. But easier isn't necessarily better. So for my own good, here is a promise to myself to stick it out. Best of luck.

Saturday, November 7, 2009


here I am, living my life, and striving for something. I have rearranged my priorities into stop trying to make others happy and just trying to make myself happy. And I have started to really achieve that. I'm proud of myself.

On another a note I had a couple hours today to shoot pictures. Self portraits are fun for me because I know how I want the picture to turn out but I don't like to put them up, just because I get a little self conscious. So here are a series of self portraits, along with notes.
I want to travel. I want to be able to get up and move whenever and wherever. The thing that stops me though, is fear. Its amazing how much of a grip it has on my heart and mind. I have been thinking about transferring to a different university because I feel like although I am comfortable here, I could be happier somewhere else. But everytime that word, "could", is the one that gets me. What if it doesn't happen?

This teacup has a variety of stories to it. Even though it is cracked and broken, it holds some key memories to it and therefore has become one of my most valuable possessions. Maybe its not about the actual possession, its about the memory and significance behind them.

This picture makes me feel bold. There's something about that feeling that makes me feel like I can do anything, its my choice. I am content with my orange walls. I'm glad I painted them that color. Its just for me.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

This one is for the hearts that burst

lately I have been having these moments

the moments where something fills up your soul so much you feel like you know this is the moment that is important in life. This is the spot where you are supposed to be, the feeling that you're supposed to have. Sometimes its music that makes me feel this way, sometimes its pictures or words or someone smiling at you. And sometimes its my dog and how she knows that we are best friends, partners in crime.

Moments like these take my breath away, quite literally, and they remind me of how it feels to be living.

But as it comes with life, there are the moments that are not so great. The moments where your heart breaks, where you cannot wait to move on but you know you will be in pain for the next 'x' amount of time. And its suffocating to know that you cannot fast things forward. Its also these moments that my heart bursts, but in a different way. It is also these moments that I'm realizing make me feel alive.

The longer I live, the more I'm learning how to.