travel day.

Even though I am in the place that I was so excited to get to, I feel off.

Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm running on 3 hours of sleep, two very, very large cups of coffee and a small sandwich and I've been up for 15 hours. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm missing some people, and this time of year always feels a little different than the rest. Maybe it's due to the fact that here, the sun is shining and back home it was snowing. Or maybe it's due to the fact that I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of Sumatra-related things going on in my life.

I waited for the bus for a long time.

And then, I waited more.

Tomorrow, we will spend the day in the city after a slow moving morning with the Redwoods. I'll look at the Golden Gate and know that my heart will rest for a little. And maybe tomorrow, I won't feel so off.

knobby knees

We go on. We move on. Collect experiences, bring them back to our people in forms of stories, photographs, scars. Sometimes I feel as if I've dreamed Sumatra. Our time there, in the grand scheme of things, was so temporary. But I feel as if now, that memory has been ingrained into the smile lines at the corners of my eyes, and etched into the lines of my palms.

And now, next week, we are nearing on it being one year since our team has worked on this project. One year, full of plans, many of which fell through, many of which we were able to see play out.

I'm not quite sure why I haven't felt like I have been able to write a quality post for awhile now. Maybe because, I feel so full of other things. I am full of hope, change, happiness; all of these have culminated into one big pool of unknowing. One day I will write again, when I can sort everything out and divide it up.

Right now, the only things I truly know are that I wake up happy and I go to sleep knowing that tomorrow is new.

I'm learning.

still.

Traveling.

San Francisco

Yosemite

The Golden Gate

Petaluma

Beach

Redwoods

Sumatra presentations

Planes

Coastlines

Photographs

I need to be reminded of things that are vast. I need to look up at the Redwoods. I need to feel the fog and the cold water of the Pacific. I need to be in Yosemite to be reminded that I am small and the world is big.

I need to be moving.

Going.

Traveling.

Lucky Pennies

Autumn makes me honest. I find myself being able to communicate a little better.

Big life decisions are ahead. I am trying to direct my concentration on smaller things that seem more simple.

I'm so appreciative of people who let me be wild, and who tell me to follow my soul.

I think that I've gotten to be be really comfortable and good at being alone. When another person comes in the picture, it takes time to find the balance. Lucky for me, he is patient. I'm so appreciative.

This year, for the fifth year anniversary since my Uncle's death, I'll be in Yosemite. It seems like the right thing for me to do. I'm terribly excited to be in San Fransisco for a couple days. It is my favorite city (and I normally don't like cities).

Fall reminds me of loss.

But, loss makes room for new things.

and that's what I've tried to remember.