Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mountains and bars

I only have roughly a month and a half left in Wyoming before I move to Bozeman. I'm not sure that I have felt this restless and eager to move on. I know that once the time comes, I will be sad to leave. But for now, I'm excited to be traveling, to be working at a job I love and am passionate about. But being in these moments of months before the long-awaited change have got me feeling stuck and anxious. My days have turned into routines, keeping inside my comfort zones and not pushing limits. I've started climbing again to try to reduce some of the restless feelings. It's helped, and so does being outside.

I read this once, about wide open places:

"This spaciousness, this wide-open, unbiased, unprejudiced space is inexpressible and fundamentally good and sound. It's like the sky.'re feeling uncomfortable, whenever you are caught up and don't know what to do, you can find someplace where you can go and look at the sky and experience some sort of freshness, free of hope and fear, free of bias and prejudice, just completely open. Space permeates everything, every moment of our lives."

and that is how I've lived my life ever since.

This shoot with Heidi was taken spur of the moment. Those of you who are not in photography might think it's a little ridiculous what people go through to go on photo shoots. It was maybe 5 degrees outside, and we snuck into an old, broken down bar I had gotten permission to shoot in months and months ago. The place is terrifyingly creepy and every time the wind blows, it turns the pages of an old book-half burned- laying on a shelf. We spent a lot of time walking on glass and scaring ourselves silly, and just as our toes froze in our boots, we walked a quarter of a mile back to the car that was parked in the only spot along the road that wasn't a snow bank.

Lately, I've been dreading photo shoots, before they happen, because they aren't surprising or different or anything that I really, really cared for. But I believe that's changing, and I'm walking away with images that I feel connected to and love.

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