Thursday, July 12, 2012

lots of thoughts and not many words.

I've been getting glimpses of home. I love it and it makes me miss it even more. I have my possessions spread out over 3 states, have keys to 4 different houses around the western US. And even though I plan on returning to Montana, I haven't spent enough time there to consider it a home yet. It'll get there, but that will take time and patience. 

Sometimes you have bad days.
And sometimes you need to go to Nordstrom, put on a pair of $200 pants, a pair Steve Madden flats (because S.M. is the king of shoes), and pretend like you have enough money to buy both. Turns out, $200 pants look really nice.
Sometimes you should go into a bookstore and just sit in the middle of all the words and fill your head with thoughts other than your own.
Sometimes you should go buy a saw and a powerdrill for yourself, because everyone should own both. 
And sometimes you should wear a dress to go the hardware store and buy things to make your own furniture that you love. I swear sometimes, I'm a walking contradiction.
And sometimes, just sometimes, even though you might not have a permanent place right now, you should buy yourself home things because it's nice to dream of having one someday. Like big wooden cutting boards and mason jars and a nice red kettle for the stove. 

I love Wyoming. I missed it. It's like finding the little pieces of me that get tucked away sometimes. Three more cities and then I'm done with the tour and will find that home place I keep talking about. And the biggest reminder to myself during these times: Loneliness is alright, but it's how you fill that lonely feeling that really matters. Temporary things are just that: temporary. 

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