missing

I took off work today to collect my thoughts and to sleep in this big bed alone with a puppy that curls up by my side and puts her nose in the nook of my neck.

I am feeling a heavy sense of missing lately.

I think it might be some rapidly approaching dates that are important in my memory.

I am feeling this, so I let it happen.

and missing is ok.

I've also been feeling a strong pull of wanting things I can't have right now. It's something that I think is one of the hardest things to accept. All at the same time, I'm trying to forget some things, remember others and be grounded. I'm trying to let it pass, and I'm trying to be rational.

But rational has never been something I'm good at.

I fly by what my heart asks of me.

I enjoy always being asked "what state are you in now??"

I enjoy driving by myself. or with my pup as co pilot.

One of my goals is to have a good, good friend in every state. I'm almost half way there.

I like making a home out of where I lay my head every night, whether that be here or somewhere on the road.

And I miss this lifestyle.

I miss being free and wild.

I feel contained.

But I forget, that this lifestyle is a lonely one.

I forget that quite often.