Friday, February 25, 2011

to move


There are two incidents that I have experienced in the past week that I want to talk about. First of all, when I was stressing out this morning about my guest teaching at an Elementary School, I went for coffee. I spend every Friday and Sunday morning in this coffee shop and order the same thing. What I love about Fridays is that there is hardly anyone here. People come and go but it's quiet and I can do work without seeing a bunch of people I know. Today, in the midst of my coffee order, the barista told me that someone bought a gift card for someone who came in to the coffee shop today. I ended up only paying for my bagel because someone had purchased a coffee for someone had wanted to make a stranger's day. My day was made, and it reminded me to pay it forward. So I'm going to try to do a couple nice things for people today.
The second 'pay it forward' example I saw was yesterday afternoon. I was in a computer lab on campus when a woman came in with a small baby. She sat down at the computer and was obviously trying to get work done but her babe was pretty restless. It was an obvious struggle, and a girl sitting behind me went over and asked her if she could hold her daughter so she could get some work done. The mother had a relieved look on her face and was able to be productive for a couple minutes. Generosity and little sacrifices like this make me extremely happy and have a lot of faith in the world around me. Just thought I would share.

The next thing I want to talk about is creativity and inspiration. The funny thing about inspiration is that it moves me so much that I get frustrated. It's something that I have been forced to balance: the need to move and travel for creativity, and the need to have something stable. It's not that I'm unhappy when I feel this, I just know when I'm in one place too long, I feel like my life is just sitting and my heart gets dusty. I see a lot of my friend circle getting to travel and experience the rest of the world and a part of my heart starts out of envy. I understand that there is a reason why I'm supposed to be here, now. But that doesn't stop the ongoing cycle of the desire to move. I have to wonder if I'll ever find a balance among this; if the need to constantly be moving will subside. I believe it's also a bit selfish, you know. That it is always my desire to move. And what will make me happy. I live a very solo lifestyle. A lot of people don't understand it. And a lot of people can't keep up with it. I don't blame them, it's chaotic sometimes and you learn to adapt quickly. But I will never sit in an office at a 9-5 job and I will never feel comfortable in a cubicle. I feel like when my soul is happy and fulfilled, I can be a more productive person to the world. When I'm shooting photos, it's the happiest and most fulfilling thing I can be doing with my time. And who can deny you of that?

1 comment: