Life has been flying lately. Days are zooming by, blurred on the sides of my vision and all I can do is keep looking forward and keep looking down at my feet to tell them that this is the right direction (I think).
I've had a couple of those incredibly magic moments where I tear up and say "oh my gosh, this cannot be my life. It's too good, it's too beautiful."
And there are also times when I say "Oh my gosh, this is my life and it's so chaotic."
With a total of 13,690 miles on the road this summer, part of me is so delighted to move around, to be transient; to do all these things that I always crave when I'm away from them.
But part of this is being alone, being solo and individual. Part of all of these really fun trips are also business-based and you are constantly encouraged to sell your name, your work, and make small talk. Please don't misunderstand this comment, I'm really grateful for all these opportunities that come my way, by all means, but also it is exhausting and sometimes people on the outside don't understand it completely. I have a lot of fun, but I also work...a lot.
And so learning how to balance this-- traveling alone a lot but keeping people close is a challenge. How to form relationships when you are absent a lot of the time in some other place- it takes time to learn, and I'm far from being good at it.
But I will keep trying. Please forgive me ahead of time if I don't respond to texts, phone calls or e-mails while I'm traveling. In the greed of wanting my own time, sometimes I become very, very solo and unresponsive. I really, really need to be alone for awhile before I commit my time to various professional settings, and driving by myself allows me to control my own time. Therefore, I get protective of where I extend my time and conversation.
In the last days living at 7000 ft, I'm chopping wood in the morning while water for coffee is boiling. Starting a fire to sit in front of and answer e-mails. Drinking a lot of whiskey, drinking a lot of beer while in the company of the most lovely people. Time has been spent reading, reflecting, packing, praying, cooking and eating.
I'm really, really appreciative of all the supportive friends and family in my life.