Wednesday, September 1, 2010

plan B

My Pandora station keeps playing soul music to me.

The kind that makes me dance and spin in circles in my kitchen when I'm making breakfast.
The kind that directly understands the core of my being, why I get up in the mornings.
The kind that makes me fall in love.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I have to move locations.

My major only accepts 25 students into the program each fall, and I don't have the grades that will put me ahead.
I haven't made a plan 'B' because I didn't think I needed one.
I have been contemplating moving for going on 3 years now. There is a difference between content and comfortable, and I think I'm just comfortable here.
This leap of faith is huge for me. Step one is to accept it. Step two is jumping. I'm at step 1.1 which is developing the acceptance.
The possibility of not being around these core people in my life scares me to pieces. But the thought that maybe there could be more than what I have here keeps me wondering.

What if there is more happiness somewhere else?
What if there are people who are going to be important in this new place?
What if I don't find happiness there?

There are a million different questions that are living in my mind right now.
I was feeling frustrated yesterday about the fact that my life was so up in the air.

So I left the house
Went out with some of my best friends
Took photos
Laughed until I was bending over and couldn't breathe
Got a brain freeze from being in the cold water (i'm guessing it was around 40 degrees)
and enjoyed



  1. These words speak some serious my heart.

    Leaving is never easy.
    But arriving somewhere new is proving to be more beautiful than I could have asked for.

    Grace and Peace to you my friend as you consider and take this leap.

  2. My advice to you:

    Don't go to get away. Go to get there.

    Words that made some of my leaps a little less scary:

    "There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy. All you need is love."

    So love on, sista. Don't be scared.
    You're more capable than you think.