Sunday, December 19, 2010

a lot of learning

I use the word wholeheartedly a lot. I try to live my life according to this, making every good intention wholehearted. There are a lot of things that fill my soul to the brim, and I can honestly say that make my heart whole. I've also spent the past year of my life learning how to be comfortable being by myself.

I was once told that that is one of the most important things you can learn, and I have to agree. I drove over 4,000 miles by myself this summer and there were times that I was really uncomfortable spending so much time without anyone. After a heartbreak, it was good to figure out where I was with myself. I talked to myself a lot (which sounds creepy, but I bet you do it more than you think), trying to form my thoughts into words and figure out who I
was, who I wanted to be, my goals and dreams. I would roll down my windows on the highway and sing so loud that I would start laughing at myself because I knew I looked and was acting ridiculous. But this was needed. I had to put things back into perspective.
But I am in a different place now, and I am forgetting how to be by myself. Starting that process over again, or keeping it up is hard.
So here it goes: an effort to relearn what I knew so well a couple months ago.

We are different people than we were just a month ago. We are constantly changing and adapting. Give yourself some credit for the things you have accomplished.

I was thinking about it today, my life has been a series of overlapping circles. Where I think one ends, another one actually begins and that happens over and over again.
How wonderful is it that my 19th year of life ended and began the 20th year with a trip to New Orleans, which changed my life. Not only the trip, but the people I've met, the things I have experienced, the parts that made me cry and finally, the end of one circle. As we come to the end of this calendar year, I am ecstatic for the adventures and wholehearted things I will experience in the next year.

Learn how to be by yourself. It's not always enjoyable, but you will love yourself for it. Heartbreak is inevitable. It's a battle, but you've won when you can realize it's made you a better one for experiencing it.

1 comment:

  1. I saw this shoot on facebook the other day and was waiting for you to post them to your blog. Such good photos, especially the one of your lil'sis on the post. Its so good.
    Also wanted to let you know that a friend of mine and I were talking about your photography the other day and his words were that you are a "Heavy Hitter these days". I look forward to your posts everyday, keep it up B.