Sunday, April 4, 2010

easter day

first: happy easter! i hope your day is filled with lots of love, family, friends, chocolate and easter eggs.

second: two things I want to talk about:
1. tangible faith
2. loving everyone

1. Like creativity and life in general, my faith has been up and down recently. This isn't to say you should believe in God, it's not to say you're wrong for not, and it's not to say that I am right. Christianity works for me, I like it but I think everyone has a reason for believing in what they do.
I guess I feel like I have been praying for some kind of tangible faith. I am such a hands-on learner, and most of my struggle comes from feeling like I don't have anything but beliefs to hold on to. And beliefs are just that; beliefs. There is nothing solid for me to see or hear or say recently that has affirmed that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing, no guide, no direction. So, I hold tight to what I think is right, and just go in the directions that the breeze blows me in.
Easter is a special time for me, it always makes me think that I'm starting over and I have another chance.
It is where green grass pokes out of the cold and cracked earth that winter has caused.
I can feel the world taking big breaths in the spring time.
And starting over means change. I am not a huge fan of change. It switches up everything that is comfortable, and I feel like my life is a knot of string and I have to sort everything out again.
I am holding tight to everything I can grasp onto and sliding into new things. And even though it scares me stiff, I am trying to pry my heart to be open to new ideas and new plans for my life, even if it goes against things that I thought my life planned for me all along.

2. Love everyone, even if it seems like they are incapable of it themselves. Love everyone, regardless of what they have done to you.
bottom line: love unconditionally

3. (I know I didn't throw a number 3 in the outline of things I was going to write about today, but I feel like its a good addition.) I drove past a hitchhiker today and it took all my energy not to stop the car and pick him up. My thought process went from:
I would never, never hitchhike...wait, I locked my keys in my car 2 months ago, and someone picked me up.
It just brought me back to thinking long and hard about the kindness of people, and how some people are just genuine. It was hard to drive past someone that I could obviously help. However, I realize that it isn't the safest position. So maybe if there were other people in the car, I would do it differently.

Thank you for reading, thank you for being in my life. Any more volunteers for the story project? I already have 2 :)

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