babies and soul bursting

hey, hello, hi.

I want to take a minute and just start off by saying how ridiculously awesome life is sometimes. Today, I got to see my friend Mandy. Mandy is older than I am, and used to be a camp counselor for a backpacking camp I used to go to. It's been about 5 years since I have seen her, due to the fact that we both live incredibly busy lives! Between her getting married, joining and leaving to Ecuador for the Peace Corps and then coming back and having a kid, we had a lot to catch up on. I'm amazed at the things she is doing in her life, I am so thankful to have her as such an awesome role model. Mandy is hands down one of the most genuine people I know and she is

definitely someone I try to be more like. Her babe, Edith, came along for the ride to meet me

too! Edith is 5 months old and adorable.

So needless to say, it was a wonderful afternoon of eating, talking, loving life and this baby. It got me thinking how incredible it is to love unconditionally. To love, no matter what the situation. Life just hits you sometimes and its great to take a step back and decide to just love.

Maybe you are aware, maybe you aren't, but I was once told that having your heart breaking because of sadness and having your heart burst because of happiness is the same feeling. The amount of 'x' emotion that fills up your soul and either makes you a)cry or b) laugh/jump up and down/ smile until your face hurts is the same feeling, but just different emotions.

This made me think of two situations in my life:

The feeling of having your heart burst because of sadness. When my uncle passed away, that was something that I thought I would never get over. I haven't necessarily gotten over it but I have accepted it. For days upon weeks upon months my heart honestly hurt. And I would have moments where my soul was filled up with sadness and there was absolutely nothing I could do but let it in. So I would cry, I would remember what made me sad and I would let the grief completely take over and melt. But after I cried, I would get up, do something proactive with all the emotions and i would be better. Those were days that I didn't think would end, but the consistency of those feelings went away. Now I am able to accept that he isn't here and it still makes me sad, it still makes me cry, but the amount of people that have come into my life because of it is more positive than I could have ever imagined. He is someone that I love to talk about, I love to think about and laugh about things that he used to do. From this situation, I found out how many people care about me and my family. It is really unbelievable.

which leads me to my next part:

There are sometimes that my soul is filled up with so much happiness that there's nothing I can do but cry. Or dance around my room. Or recently, Veda and I have jumped on the bed. (we can't do that at my bed at school because it is up about 4 ft and I would hit my head and V would fall off) Throughout the more recent course of my life, people have opened doors for me. I don't really know why, other than I am guessing it is because they sincerely care about the things I do with my life. I won't name the 10+ opportunities that have come across my life path lately, but I will tell you there has been a lot of Veda and I dancing around my room.

I can only hope that I will influence someone's life as Mandy has influenced mine.

I can only hope that I can give someone young opportunities when I have some experience under my belt.

I can only hope that your soul bursts in a good way, and when it bursts in sadness, that you realize that it will be better tomorrow, it won't always be as heart wrenching. But until then, do something proactive with the emotions.

Happy tuesday, my friends.