Wednesday, February 24, 2010

my life

My life is tea cups with rings in the bottom of what used to be, scattered around my room because I eat every meal with my dog in my bed instead of at a table.
My life is a quick pot of coffee, made too late in the day and consumed too quickly.
My life is 4 meetings in a day, all for the same project that despite 6 months of work, may or may not happen.
My life is my puppy forgiving me for too much time spent on my computer editing, and not enough time spent playing tug-of-war.
My life is wine bottles in the window sill because I like how they look when their empty.
My life is a huge smile and hug from people I love telling me that I'll make it.
My life is a crowd of people; friends, friends of friends, and family on the sidelines, holding my hand and listening to my stories.
My life is a fence that continues for miles and miles and a mason jar with a single white and yellow flower.
My life is a field of grass, looking like a sea when it blows in the wind.
My life is the amount of trash and stuff in my car.
My life is my friends that let me sleep there for the night when I drift and am transient.
My life is my room, with orange walls; my home base, littered with camera equipment and odds and ends of props from various shoots.
My life is a load of laundry of all my favorite clothes that has been collecting over the course of a month that I am finally making myself do.
My life is hundreds of thousands of still frames, trying to capture my wild heart and ideas.

My heart is not collecting dust.

I went to the first half of the Banff Mountain Film Festival tonight. There was a film where a Japanese photographer was talking about shooting pictures of skiers. He explained himself as every time he takes a picture of this snowboarder turning, he wants it to show every experience the snowboarder has had in his life, just in that frame. I could see the wrinkles on his face, and in his eyes you could see his soul, lit on fire.

I hope I can be the one to take those pictures for you; to show you that there is something so much bigger than where you are now and to show you that experience can be so incredibly powerful; overwhelming.


today, I wandered through ice sheets and red and yellow reeds and could explore the world through
winter's eye.
i found that things are still beautiful.

I threw stones at the stars but the whole sky fell.

That tall grass grows high and brown.

And you sent me back to where I roam.

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