I am

I am feeling defeated today.

Due to stress (I think) my poor body is just not having it anymore. I feel weak and exhausted.

But I sent off the grant yesterday with my dreams attached. I cried when the "sent" button appeared. 6 months this has been part of my life and then it is off in someone else's hands. I am putting trust in my team's hard work and I have faith that even if we don't get this opportunity, we will have come out of the experience better and stronger than when we started. It is scary, but for once in 6 months, I can't do anything about it.

it is actually kind of relieving?

and the world spins madly on.

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me.

Veda is almost tall enough to get up onto my bed...but not quite.