Saturday, March 13, 2010


the other day I saw a heart break.
it was terrible.
I could honestly feel my heart feel for hers.
And so the only advice I can give for something that breaks your heart is that it will make you a better person, a stronger person; and in the end it will be alright.
I couldn't help but be outside today. It was the warmest weather I have felt in a really long time and it was relieving to be able to drive with the windows down. I put on some new shoes and a dress to match my soul and set out among leaves that have been hibernating under the winter layers for far too long.
I've been feeling a little on the defeated side lately. My stress level caught up to me and so did the fact that I skipped out on a flu shot. Right as I finished everything, the flu hit me hard and I was confined to my room for a couple days. It gave me some time to think about stuff and I finished an entire season of the Bachelor (terrible, I know.)
That show started me thinking about loneliness and love. I am really happy being myself right now and doing whatever my life demands but I've realized how much moving around has made me lonely. There are some moments where I am so happy with it just being Veda and I. It simplifies things, and the more time I spend with her, the more I'm convinced that she knows exactly what I'm thinking. But there are also some moments where I am utterly lonely and that feeling creates a whole inside my soul. But I've found that the moments where I find that I am most filled with that empty feeling, I can fill it up with creativity and some of my most favorite pictures are produced.
I think I am changing my life plan a little bit...the more I take pictures, the more I understand about the world. I am a moment collector. I know not everyone has the ability to travel, and so I hope that I am one of the few people that will be blessed enough to travel and bring back moments so people can feel my experience through them. I have been thinking about pursuing something more down the photo career, maybe photographing for non profit organizations? I'm not even sure such a thing exists. All I know is that I am going to do something that makes me happier and more alive than I can imagine.
I didn't realize that this photo was blue on top and green on the bottom until I put them makes me think of green grass and blue skies

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